When Evil Demons Have Kids: Season 1
by Ididntdoit07
Summary: WEDHK is back for the 3rd time! Different format, easier to read, more funny! Mpreg, language, and yaoi. Naraku and Sesshomaru start a family and chaos ensues.
1. WEDHK, RUN AWAY!

**When Evil Demons Have Kids: Season 1, Chapter 1, NEW!**

OK, deleted twice from the site, 3rd time now. If it gets deleted, it gets deleted forever. I'm trying it AGAIN in a different format, so it might be easier to read. Chapters will be longer and it will have more words. Even the paragrahs are funny. Mom thinks so.

WARNING: mpreg, slash, language, and AU.

**disclaimer: dont own Inuyasha, but I will own some characters in future chapters...please R&R!**

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"You never called."

"It got weird, didn't it?"

"Yes...I am late."

"No, you just arrived on time..."

"NO. I am laaaaaate."

CLICK.

Sitting on the old leather couch was a creature so vile and evil that even the devil feared his existence. The ultimate evil didn't approve of much and the ones who disobeyed him got a knife stuck up their ribs. Luckily, they live...and they help around his house. This lazy half demon has all sorts of minions, enemies, and most of all...a husband. Yes, this mighty evil is gay, but don't let that stop you! His name...? Naraku.

The half demon sighed as yet ANOTHER stupid commercial came onto his favorite movie, Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me. He wore a casual T-shirt that said: I (heart) EVIL and dark red plaid flannel pants and his raven dark hair was pulled into a loose ponytail at the back. He reached for the remote and changed the channel. On it were bright colors and 3 little things singing...

"SNAP, CRACKLE, POP! That's who we a--"

Poor little elves. They didn't get to finish their song cause Mr. Evil just had to switch it! On the other channel were sadly made bats and cobwebs. A team of young meddling kids were seen running around, crying out: "Scooby-Dooby-Doo, where are you--"

He sighed yet again in defeat. These channels sucked. "Boring." CLICK. "Stupid." CLICK.

On the screen of many pixels were men and women surrounding a little table, and blood was everywhere. Naraku was suddenly then plagued by a feeling of nausea and he sprinted out of the living room and into the nearest bathroom, brushing by his husband, Sesshomaru.

"Get doctor Weaver!" The television called.

The dog demon came into the room, wearing just his usual boxers, dirty white tank, and a half full/half empty beer can. His silvery white hair was perfectly combed and tied together almost at the end. His amber eyes caught sight of the gore on ER and sat down enjoying the gruesome pictures. A nurse ran into the emergency room and she had two canes. "I wonder what happened to her." He pondered. In the bathroom, Naraku peeked out to once again see the blood squirting on a doctor, and winced. The door slammed as Naraku gagged some more.

The wide-screen view of the show soon darkened as a commercial began. Naraku sighed in relief and walked casually back to the couch and sunk down in it. Sesshomaru looked to Naraku and put an arm around his shoulders, bringing his love close. "Still not feeling good? I mean, dude, it's like almost been a week since it begun, I really think you like...need to see a doctor or something."

Naraku stared at the claw on his left shoulder and pried it off of him. "Shut up, I know." Sesshomaru stared at Naraku in shock; the half demon never acted this way before...well, at least not until WEDHK began. Sesshomaru waved his hands out in front of his face in defense, and smiled sarcastically.

"Aaah! Save me!" He yelled in a little high voice that could easily be compared to a yell by little red riding hood. Naraku glared at the dog demon and looked around anxiously. Groaning, he got up and stomped into the kitchen. Sesshomaru watched Naraku until he got the that room, and went back to the television that still hadn't gone back to ER.

"Stupid tv."

Suddenly, Naraku appeared right next to Sesshomaru with a full can of coke. Sesshomaru looked up, only to have the cold soft drink poured on his head. "Hey– What the hell?" He demanded Naraku, who began to walk back towards the kitchen.

"Shut up before I kill you."

Sesshomaru immediately got up. Something seriously wasn't right with Naraku...especially today. "What is your problem?" He demanded, following the half demon into the kitchen.

"Shut up."

While in the middle of the great chase, Kagura, middle child of Naraku, was scrubbing the granite counters in the kitchen. She wore her hair up on a high ponytail, a long skirt, and Mexican party shirt, singing. "Lalalalalalalala..."

Naraku stopped in his tracks and slowly came to stare at his incarnation. "Especially _you_! SHUT UP." Kagura stared at her 'father' in disappointment. He didn't like her singing! Wait a minute, he didn't like her at all. "Muchos gracias, senor."

"Don't you mean 'senorita'? I'm not a man." She tried to explain but earned a death glare by the half demon. Sesshomaru came into view and looked from his 'daughter' to Naraku, over and over and over and over and over and over again. He sighed in relief.

_Well, at least he didn't say 'shut up'._

Naraku looked to Sesshomaru, as if he read the dog-demon's mind and narrowed his already narrow gaze. "Oh, yeahhh..." He slowly turned to Kagura and smiled. "Shut. Up."

"NOW."

With that, the great evil half demon turned on his heels and ran upstairs to his and Sesshomaru's bedroom, and slammed the door. HARD. Sesshomaru and Kagura both looked up the stairs to the silent door and being behind it. "Kagura?"

"Yeah?"

"Whack me over the head if I go to our room and knock on the door, okay?"

"You got it sweetie!" She winked at him and giggled.

"What?"

Kagura had the expression as if she were the happiest girl in the world. Pretty flowers and colors like pastels and pink flowed up behind her and a sweet aroma filled the air as she sighed out: "Nothing..." Suddenly, all the pretty stuff went back to the normal backdrop of the kitchen as Sesshomaru inturrupted.

"Good, cause you know I'm with Naraku."

"...Right." She said sadly.

Sesshomaru gave her a last look and walked off, shaking his head. Kagura stood alone in the kitchen and whimpered. Kanna silentely walked into the room and stared up at her younger sister. Kagura looked down at the black eyes and muttered.

"Shut up."

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**different right? Please R&R, this is the last time I'm putting it on the site, if it gets taken off, I'm giving up! Love you!**

**-Ididntdoit07**


	2. Sesshomaru's beer and Naraku's News

**WEDHK Season 1, Chapter 2**

Oh, my God! Its been so long. Sorry guys if it took forever.

**disclaimer: i dont own any characters in this chapter...I wish I did. **

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"Naraku...?"

"What?"

"Why are you washing the dishes?"

"Because I'm frustrated."

"Why?"

"Because I am."

"Well, there has to be a reason why you're frustrated."

"There's not a reason."

"Please, tell me."

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"I said no!"

"Please...? For the puppy?" Sesshomaru pointed to himself, whining as he clung around his husband's legs. Huge watery eyes poofed up on Sesshomaru's expression as he begged like a dog. "Come on... you can tell me anything..." Naraku's annoyed expression didn't change. "I'll give you a cookie."

The hanyou raised an eyebrow and began to walk away. "Okay, with chocolate chips!" Sesshomaru said, following Naraku into the living room. "Come on. You can tell Sesshy." He said, making Naraku sit down with him on the couch. The hanyou didn't even breathe.

Sesshomaru moved behind Naraku and put his claws (yes, he has two in WEDHK) on Naraku's shoulders. His left hand perked up like a little stick figure and he said in a high voice. "Come on, tell Sesshy what's frustrating you. You know its gonna be easier once you saaay it." Then Sesshomaru went to his right hand and screwed up his face in an evil manner. "Dont tell him, its none of his freakin' business!"

"Oh, but it is!" The 'angel' squeaked.

"No its not." The 'devil' growled.

"Yes it is."

"No its not."

"Both of you shut up!" Sesshomaru said to his hands and pretended to throw them away. "Soooo? Are you gonna tell me, Naraku?"

"Nope."

"What? Why?" Sesshomaru demanded, wrapping his arms around Naraku. "I gave you a puppet show and I'm gonna get you a cookie, and you still wont tell me? We're even married and you wont say...?"

Naraku bit his bottom lip and then twisted up from the couch. "Okay, fine. If it'll shut you up." He took a deep breath. Sesshomaru nodded anxiously. "This is the 6th time Entie is getting de-wormed in this year, you wont listen to me when I say you have to call your father for the eighteenth time this week, Hakudoushi is failing four classes because you got him into video games, our bills are tremendous, Inuyasha wont stop hunting me even though he has the full Shikon Jewel and to top it all off, we're having a baby!"

"Wh-what?"

"Ugh...nevermind." Naraku walked back into the kitchen.

"Wait, say the last thing again!" Sesshomaru demanded, going into the kitchen as well.

"We're having a baby." Naraku faced Sesshomaru.

"Which one?"

"What do you mean which one?"

"I mean who is?"

"_Me._"

"Okay, then...I dont see how that works, but okay!" Sesshomaru shrugged and walked off, leaving Naraku speechless in the kitchen.Feeling betrayed and sort of not noticed, the hanyou stomped into the room where Sesshomaru headed.

"Did you just hear what I said? Do you have wax in your ears?"

"...what?" Sesshomaru asked as he stuffed his face with Captain Crunch cereal that spread on the couch. Naraku could practically fall over now and die. Well, thats what he did with the exception of dying.

Immediately he jumped up and like a rabid monkey, pounced onto Sesshomaru, knocking them both to the floor. "We are having a baby, and we are the parents! I am having the baby in my stomach just like any other person and you have to be the responsible father! Did I make that clear enough to you?" He demanded, tightening his grip on the demon's shoulders.

Sesshomaru nodded. "...but...Can I have beer?"

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Okay, I know its short but I needed to update, alright? Its been SO long. Please R&R I'll give you a cookie!

-Ididntdoit07


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